Love me songs from the late 80s/early 90s. It is a music language that speaks to me. So many memories. Which is strange, since I have few memories associated with music within the last 5-10 years. Weird.
Hannibal is going to have a mini rant about misogynistic society today.
I work in an environment that is predominantly male. I learned from previous jobs that I do not usually work too well is female-dominated environments. Apparently my Type A personality can be construed as threatening to women who have a lower self-esteem than I. Crazy. I know.
Anyway, I really like where I work and the environment in which I work. My coworkers are like family to me. Emphasis on family. I care very much for them and would be there for them when needed. That's what families do and are for. This is even more true for me as a person whose nearest blood family member are over 1,500mi away and I see them maybe once a year. I have no children. I have no significant other. This means that I transfer my sense of family from life outside of work, to my coworkers. We work together in a high stress environment that is often misconstrued by others who are not in the same line of work. We stand together as a (mostly) united front. We vent to each other. We support each other. We are awesome.
Many of my coworkers seem to have many similar interests as me outside of work. They hang out with each other and do those interesting things together. Every now and then I hang out with them or one of them. But this is a very rare instance. I'm not quite sure I understand why. I have some theories:
- Wives. Dudes with wives don't like their "man" hanging out with single chicks one on one. Especially doing something badass like hiking mountains, kayaking or fixing rigs.
- Dudes. Dudes with wives are too afraid to hang out with super awesome single chicks because...well, I'm not sure.
- Bromance. Cool bro activities are simply that. Activities for bros. No girls allowed. Permitting a girl to tag along will cause the whole structure to come tumbling down. Anarchy will ensue.
I am not sure if any of the above listed reasons are truly valid. But either way, I am sad about it. It seems like no matter how hard I try to be a peer to my male counterparts, I am still...lower/not equal/not good enough. And if I am truthful with myself, it does bother me and makes me feel isolated and sad. I know I am an awesome person with pretty awesome interests. I even offer to do cool things with them with genuine interest. And, of course, never taken up on the offer. Instead, they move on to their bro buddy and talk about the exact thing I just offered! ARGH!
Do I have cooties? Is there some unwritten rule that I am not cool enough to hang out with? Are vaginas that are single and not overly hot looking not allowed to hang out, too?
Now let us come full circle and address the top theory: wives.
Dear Wives of my coworkers:
Your husband is my coworker. He is a member of my work family. I have absolutely ZERO interest in doing anything with him sexually. I do not fantasize about him and I gallivanting off to some romantic getaway. He is like a brother to me. Such thoughts my make stomach heave in a not pleasant manner. One does not make out, have sex or even visualise one's brother in those ways. Ew. I hold myself to high moral standards and one of my most important standards is: NEVER EVER be a homewrecker. Know what that means? I refuse to have any romantic or sexual type relationship with a married person. EVER. I have held true to this standard and plan to keep to it till the day I die. One of my other mantras is to never dip my pen in the company ink pot. That is recipe for disaster as far as I am concerned.
So, please, Wife, give me the common decency to trust me. And please, give your husband the decency to trust him, too.
Trustfully yours,
Hannibal- the most badass chick you'll ever meet
I just do not understand. I do not mull over it too much. I have come to accept it for what it is. But I would by lying if I did not get a pang of jealousy when I hear about my coworkers tell tales about hanging out doing things I love to do and invite each other along, but not extend the invite to me, too. I'll get over it. I always do. But it is just a reminder how I am not yet considered an equal in their eyes, whether they recognise the impact of their behavior or not.
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