Slicing and Dicing!

You are now reading the words from a non-uterus owner!  Yes, you read that right.  I no longer have a uterus.  I had a total laproscopic hysterectomy and partial left salpingo-oophorectomy.  I'm not going to tell you what the latter part means.  Go google it.  I just love the way it sounds when said.

I'm into day 5 of recovery.  I find it very frustrating trying to balance taking medication for pain so that one does not feel nauseated, dizzy and overall blah.  I am on my second kind of pain med since the first made me feel so ill, even with an anti-nausea medication.  Yesterday I was bedridden since I had vertigo much of the day.  I was so disappointed I was not able to enjoy the almond milk iced mocha I purchased earlier in the day.  It now sits in the refrigerator awaiting my consumption of it...24h+ after it was made.  Yesterday I made my first journey away from the hotel.  My mom flew in last week to care for me during recovery.  Which I greatly appreciate.  Mommies are pretty darn awesome.

She took me to a craft store so that I could get coloring books and pencils so that I had some form of entertainment other than watching TV.  We finished a puzzle together a few days ago.  I am quite limited in my physical activities.  Walking around the craft store zonked me out.  Especially since I was trying to avoid the vertigo threatening to take over.

While I was in the hospital recovering over night.  I organized my mom's 65th birthday celebration.  I had some friends pick her up and take her to a restaurant.  I wrapped her presents the weekend before and dropped them off with that friend.  A bunch of my other friends that met them at the restaurant and they celebrated in style.  I am glad I was able to do at least this small thing for my mom considering all the time and effort she is putting into helping me recover.

Things I have learned regarding hysterectomies:

• The ability to poop is a Godsend once you're able to do it.
• Apparently the uterus is attached to back muscles. Therefore, its removal causes back pain.
• Having stitches in your bellybutton is amusing to me....
• Pain medication side effects are almost as bad as not taking pain medication.
• I have respect for the nursing profession, but do not appreciate nurses that lack common sense or lack the ability to think independently.
• Burning off fibroids throughout your internal organs results in lots of bruising...of all different colors.
• Post-op feels like you did the hardest ab workout of your life.
• Recovery almost feels like having a period again: your vag spews blood and your internal organs are not happy and cramp up.  But at least this is it.  NO MORE menstruation!

But seriously, the trying to poop part is the most frustrating.  The doctor advises that you should not push since that would hurt your newly abused insides.  Well, being on pain pills makes you constipated.  I have never sat on the toilet that long in my life.  Goddamned deer turd poops just sitting there in your bowels waiting to come out, too far along to go back in, but not enough moisture or oomph to shove them the rest of the way out.  Ugh.  My newly abused insides hurt after that one.  The next time, I came prepared and brought a movie on a Kindle.  Still horribly uncomfortable.  Butt cheeks going numb from the pressure, hahaha! Here's to hoping it goes better this time.

Multiple friends have come over to visit me.  Last night a friend and her husband came over.  He fixed the dvd player and she and I colored in our coloring books.  It was great.  Another friend brought her dog over so that I could see and pet him since I was in dog withdrawals.  Another came over and dropped off her Kindle so that I could read books on a bigger screen and watch movies. (I watched Furious Seven on it last night. :-P).  A bunch of coworkers have brought dinners over in the evenings, too.  I am so thankful for having such a great and supportive group of friends and coworkers.  Words cannot truly describe my thanks to all of them for their support while I recover.

I signed up for the Zion Half Marathon in March 2016.  I am so grateful for my Team RWB brethren.  I mentioned wanting to do this event and enough people said they would do it that we now have an official team for the event and I their captain.  How exciting!

I realized that I did not mention the Soda Fire much on my previous post.  Much of it occurred in Owyhee County and devastated a massive region of rugged beauty.  An area I hold very dear to myself in an almost spiritual level.  So to helplessly watch it burn broke my heart.  I know the logical part of me knows that fires are a natural occurrence in nature and that they are merely a part of the live and rebirth cycle in nature.  But it still does not help watching it burn.  The sky was lit up at night by the fires only 20mi away (thank you to the Snake River for being a natural fire block to us more north).

A wildland firefighter caught a video of a fire tornado out on scene fighting the Soda Fire: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2015/08/150819-fire-tornado-video-idaho-wild-fires-soda-fire/

~280,000+ acres, or ~440 sq mi burned in the Soda fire.  Here is a follow up video by  a local news agency about the efforts that will be taken to try to "rehab" the land: http://www.ktvb.com/story/news/local/2015/08/26/feds-soda-fire-rehab/32432551/

I will never forget the impact of this photo.  It was taken the day the Soda Fire started.  In fact, that is the very same storm in the background of the photo.  I remember having to rush the photo since the radio was blaring at me to get the Eff off the mountain due to a severe storm coming my way.  Luckily, I made it into Rocky Canyon when the storm hit, so I was barely molested by rain, much less the 50+mph winds.  Nonetheless, here it is, the Soda Fire storm caught in all its glory in my currently fav photo of my baby and toys.

But in summary...on day 9 of my recovery, since it has taken me almost a week to write this post, I am still sore (less so) and tire frequently.  I get frustrated at my lack of doing normal every day activities.  And I stress about not exercising and eating and thus gaining weight and losing all the work I have done to myself for months.  Yeah.  A little depressed and stressed about that part- getting fat.  Fuck you fat.

My mom has been wonderful.  Her reminders of my limitations are annoying, but I know I need to hear them and that she is right.  I need to take it easy.  Doing nothing now will help ensure I can do more sooner than later.  My mom is awesome.  I appreciate her so much and am thankful for all she has done to help me out these past ten days.  As I write this now, she is diligently croching an additional onto an afghan she made me as a high school graduation present...almost 15 years ago. :-)

Grand Teton Relay and Team RWB

Mightier and Mighter, ever I go!

My new motto.  I came to a realization this weekend.  I work out and work out and keep myself in check if I miss a work out or feel that I have not worked hard enough.  I set goals, which in my case, are events that I pay for to compete or participate in.  These goals help me maintain and improve my health status.  But in my mind, I never work hard enough.  I can always do better.  Go faster.  Lift more.  Carry heavier things.  Do more reps.  And so on.

Pre-start team photo.

This weekend I participated in the Grand Teton Relay with my favourite group of adventure-driven people- Team RWB.  I had never been to the Grand Tetons and heard they were utterly breath-taking and worth a visit.  The race started in Ashton, ID, just outside of West Yellowstone (the West entrance to Yellowstone NP).  Our team was made up of 12 members, each of us running three separate legs for a total of ~179mi, thus ending in Jackson, WY (i.e. Jackson Hole, the ski/winter resort).  Six people in two “vans” starting early Friday morning and were given roughly 36 hours to get to the finish line.  The 36h starts when the first wave goes at 0530h on Fri.  We started at 0800 and thus had three less hours to get to the finish line than those that started earlier.  I ran legs 12, 24, and 36 (the last leg).  According to the race course map, I ran:

· 12: Robinson Creek (4.2mi)- moderate

· 24: Targee Upper (3.2mi)- very hard

· 36: Paradise City (4.9mi)- easy

· Total: 12.3mi

http://www.grandtetonrelay.com/course.php

Van 2 shenanigans!

We left immediately after I worked an entire shift at work on Thurs and drove through the night in a Chevy Suburban packed with eight people and all their gear and the needed supplies for the next two days.  Needless to say, the drive over was terribly uncomfortable and not good for morale.  It did not help that my uterus was having a battle inside me, spewing forth its vomitus menses and making my hormonal level make a sine curve look mild.  We arrived late/early and had shit for sleep outside Ashton High School.  I ended up waiting almost 14h before I ran my first leg, somewhere in the mountains on a trail, at night in the pitch dark mostly alone.  Granted, the van we were in was considered a support vehicle, stopping along the way with the runners providing provisions (water, electrolytes, etc.), this was not very possible on my leg of the run on the narrow dirt road.  Did I mention it rained/poured earlier, so the trail was like running through sludgy snot?

The ladies of the event.



I bet that road would be breath-taking during the daylight.  From what I could tell, I was running on a ridgeline.  To my right was thick forest.  To my left it seemed to drop off to a void.  I went mostly down at a slight grade for the first half, crossed a bridge and then up for the last half.  Let me tell you, trying to run in sludge is not easy.  And then you throw in mist from the recent rains and your breath condensing in the cold air in front of you, causing your little head light view to be blurry is not an easy thing to do.  Now add in not just one, but two cattle guard crossings…at night, running, and wet and not maintained, makes for an interesting run.  It was possibly one of the most spiritual things I have ever done.  I could not see the stars due to my headlight.  But I saw them before I started.  Running in the dark at night by yourself in a place with creatures that put you on the food chain (I was supposed to carry bear spray with me) and pushing yourself to do as best you can is a wonderful experience.  I think everyone should try it.  Once I saw the “1 mile left” sign, I decided that I would run as hard as I could to get to the finish.  I nearly threw up when I passed on my GTR snap wrist band to the next runner.  Whew!  I did it!....now only 2 legs left, wooo!

 Just before leg 1 for me.

 Sunrise before leg 2 for me.

I got about 2h of sleep in the Chevy after that before we were up again going through our legs.  I got to see the sun set and the sun rise in/at the mountains on Fri to Sat.  Watching the sun rise over the Tetons with my teammates running carrying the American Flag is a great thing to behold.  I am so proud of them.  Each transition had at least one port-a-potty at it.  I made use of each and every transition for the most part to make sure I was empty by the time I go to my turn to run.  Few things are as bad as needing to poo while running in a race.  I did not have time to buy food before the race due to work, so my teammates generously let me eat theirs.  By the time I got to my second leg, the combination of irregular eating and sleeping and nerves, I got diaheria(sp) and a terrible stomach ache.  My teammate stood there with me while I waited for our other teammate to arrive to pass on the bracelet to me.  This leg was to be the hardest run I have ever done: 3.2 miles going up Ski Hill Road to Grand Targhee with an elevation increase of roughly 780’.  This was a leg where the van could not support me.  I had to carry all my own supplies.  



The run was beautiful.  The higher I went, the better the scenery.  Gorgeous!  I could see for miles all around.  My goal was to finish in an hour.  I told my teammate since I felt so terrible, I would probably walk most of it.  Well, once I got started, I just could not simply give in and walk.  So I started to run.  And I did not stop…much.  A few times my legs simply could not go on.  I had to slow a bit to recoop my energy.  But never for long.  I thought my breathing would be rough, especially due to the higher altitude I was running at, but it was my legs that kept tiring out.  My calves were tightening up.  I got to the “1 mile left” sign and decided to push it for all I had worth.  But the road kept curving and I kept expecting the finish to appear at some point.  I had to walk a few more times.  THEN I SAW IT!  THE FINISH!!!!  I was so happy.  I was so tired.  No, beyond tired, I was exhausted.  I sprinted for it.  And then, in all my excitement to see and get to the finish, I started to cry and began to hyperventilate.  I collapsed.  Yup.  I fell to my hands and knees.  The volunteer ran to me as I began to crawl on my hands and knees to the finish.  I would be damned if I was not going to finish that hellaciously hard leg.  My teammates ran to me.  They helped pick me up as I was sobbing and hyperventilating.  BUT I DID IT!  I CROSSED THAT GODDAMNED FINISH LINE!!!  Thanks to my teammates for cheering and helping me along.  I sat and tried to get my breath.  Someone threw a fur coat on my shoulders.  And then it happened.  My teammate told me my time.  I was prepared for one hour or more.  But nope.  IT WAS 49 MINUTES!!!  I ran that fucker in only 49minutes!!  It was one of the happiest most satisfying moments of my life.  I got my breath back.  Hugged my teammates who were the main reason I ran so hard.  I did not want to disappoint them.  I wanted to run for them.  And I did.  I ran for them and myself.  I could not be happier with my “performance.”

 

 

One of my fav pics: Ladies of Van 2!  Just before two of them run down the steep ass mountain.

Van 2 represent!  At Grand Targhee after I recovered enough to stand. 

Then we got a brief break.  Ate our first real meal in almost 1.5 days.  Napped in a city park.  And attempted to relax as best we could before our last legs of the race.  Due to the time it took us to run the race so far, we had to cut short some of our runs for this last part in order to make it to the finish line in time.  The two hardest legs of the entire race ran straight up WY Hwy 22 at a 10% grade.  My teammate that did this carried the American flag with him.  I was so proud of him.  I watched him doing this and felt my chest swell with pride for Team RWB and him for making such a sacrifice.  So many bystanders and participants asked us about Team RWB and thanked us for carrying the flag.  I am glad to have found such a great group of people to spend time with and accomplish awesome adventures alongside.  When he got to the top, the next ones ran down that 10% for 5.8mi.  Ho. Lee. Shyte!  Beast mode!!

Then I ran some with the next runner, while eating cheese.  We got to use a flushing toilet before that.  Our first one in almost 2 days!  It was glorious.  Then it was go time.  I got to run along a greenbelt carrying the American flag for the last leg of our momentous journey.  People went by me and thanked me.  Cars drove by and honked and waved.  I was carrying the flag.  I was so tired.  I wanted to walk.  There was no shade.  But I was not giving up.  I could do it.  I was representing something to be thankful and hopeful for.  I was going to be the best representative I could be.  I was not giving in!  My teammate joined me.  Then it was time for the entire team to join us so we could cross the finish line together.  I was in front, carrying the flag high.  I sprinted that shit.  My chest swelled with pride.  People were cheering us on.  We did it!!!  179 miles done!  FUCK YES!

 http://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2009/feb/28/joy-of-six-triathlon

Thank you Team RWB and Grand Teton Relay race organisers for such a wonderful event.  It was monumental.  I will never forget it.  I accomplished things I never thought possible.  I surpassed my very expectations.  I am better than I give myself credit for.  And my teammates are more beastly than I thought possible.  They are such a kind and caring group of people that truly know the meaning of teamwork.  Thank you Van 2 teammates!  And thanks Teammate for the Julie Moss comparison.  Not quite, my friend.  But I am flattered nonetheless. J

Van 2 members under the antler arch in Jackson, WY.
I may or may not be on here much in the next few weeks.  My hysterectomy is this week.  We shall see how I feel and how lucid I am afterward.

Fire and Ovaries

It appears that I am not very good at updating this when I do not have access to the internet via my desktop.  My keyboard is covered in a layer of dust.  I suppose it does not help that I tend to leave the windows open all day and the temperature control settings on OFF.  Yeah.  It gets hot in here during the day.  But 95% of my waking time is not spent at home.  Which is why tiny home/trailer living suits me so well.  Home is for sleeping and storing your moderate to consistently used items.  If I had my choice, I would live in the lush green mountains off grid far away from civilization, completely sustainable (or as best I can be with occasional trips to visit other people that I like and stock up on supplies).



And here I sit. My last period ever.  Yes.  In less than ten days I will be the proud non-owner of a uterus, fallopian tube and ovary.  I do not like the idea of surgery, but I like the idea of being in excruciating pain to the point of considering suicide even less.  Therefore, let it be so.  I hope to be a more functional employee as a result, too.  My mommy is flying in to town to care for me.  These are the things to consider when you live on your own and are single- major surgery recovery.  Since my surgery will eclipse her birthday, I am planning to have some friends take her out to celebrate while I am laid up in the hospital recovering.



I had my pre-op appointments yesterday.  I kid you not, I had to sign a form at both the OB/GYN and the hospital acknowledging that my hysterectomy will prevent me from having children.  Well no shit Sherlock.  Seriously?  I even asked what the point of the form was.  The nurse stated they have had people request a hysterectomy and plan for one and not realise they would not be able to bear children afterward.  W. T. F. !!!!  If that is the case, they need to be fast tracked through the process!



Today has ended on a melancholy note for me.  While at work, I could see smoke billowing from the Owyhee Mountains south of us.  Not a little bit of smoke.  I mean, cover the sky and blot out the sun for the whole day amount of smoke.  Now that the sun has set, I can see the scope of the fires.  According to the news, as of a few hours ago, the fire has grown to 78,000+ acres.  As I was driving home from Ms. Prince’s home (she lets me do laundry there), I could see almost the entire ridgeline alight with fire.  Keep in mind, that ridge line is about 75-100mi away (give or take 20mi).  The night sky is lit up with the fire and the length of it looks to be at least 25-40mi long along the ridgeline.  It is both a beautiful and saddening sight to behold.  I read about fires destroying areas every year.  Heck last year, fires destroyed much of the Pine and Featherville and Trinity Lakes area.  But those are not areas I visit often.  I visit the Owyhees multiple times a month.  They are some of my most visited and favoured areas.  And now they are on fire.  I am sad for their potential loss.  I am happy for their rebirth and growth.  But some of those sagebrush are 100s of years old.  And they will be blacked stumps.  The area will be fried to a windy dry dust.  No shade.  Just…blacks and grays.  *sigh*  I guess this fire is hitting close to home and I feel the loss of land ravaged by it.  Hopefully it does not move farther north.  I do not have a truck to move my home if it comes to that.  Nor will I be in town from Thurs-Sun. 

http://www.ktvb.com/story/news/local/2015/08/11/soda-fire-threatens-ranches-near-idaho-oregon-border/31509207/


There is so much more to write, but it is WAY past my bed time and I am tired.  Hopefully I will get a chance to update again soon!