I have been pondering many things in my life as of late. Things that I have been pondering on and off for months, if not years. But lately, they have been coalescing together and building links between the thoughts and ideas. They are taking shape.
I must thank my Team RWB/GORUCK Leadership camp for triggering some of these ideas and providing materials for me to finally be able to form previous thoughts and opinions and experiences into something that now makes more sense.
What makes a leader? And what makes a good leader great? Why do people follow leaders and continue to follow them, even into hard times and/or questionable times?
I saw this article posted on my FB feed by a person I am acquaintances with on FB. The article rang oh-so-very true to much of my school and professional life. Most definitely in my professional career-based life. The article: "9 Things Bosses do that make their Employees quit". Was this article written with me in mind? Because it certainly felt like it! In summary, the nine points mentioned in the article are as follows:
- The overwork People.
- They don't recognize contributions or reward good work.
- They don't care about their employees.
- They don't honor their commitments.
- They hire and promote the wrong people.
- They don't let people pursue their passions.
- They fail to develop people's skills.
- They fail to engage their creativity.
- They fail to challenge people intellectually.
Now, not every single point has applied to every job I have had at that particular job. But I have certainly experienced almost every point mentioned in that list. And found all of them extremely frustrating. Especially points (1) and (2), and to a slightly lesser degree (7).
Things I have learned while working a para-military organisation. Leaders need to keep in mind, not everyone in that organisation did serve in the military and that there is a learning curve involved with understanding the dynamics within such a system. They also need to understand that logistically speaking, not every facet of the organisation needs to be based on the military system. There are some civilian systems out there that could also be gleaned, cannibalized and instituted into the system. Hence the "para-" part.
- Make sure the SOP (standard operating procedure) manual is updated at least annually, if not bi-annually
- Make sure it is know if there is a completely different "Policy Manual" out there that is not the same as the SOP. Also make sure this system is updated regularly.
- Share all updates done to the manuals with everyone involved in the organisation
- Transparency.
- Hiding what managers and those above them are doing only foster distrust. Keep an "Open Door" policy, but with established boundaries so that subordinates understand what is expected of them and how to follow the rules/system.
Edit: I wrote that first part of this on 04/30/17. Wow. I really suck at staying updated on this. So much has happened since my last post.
In order to not go into too much detail, I must say that the first half of this post is ever so relevant now.
Have you ever seen the film Ever After with Drew Barrymore as Cinderella? You know this scene:
You can see the point where Cinderella's heart utterly breaks? Yeah. That happened to me a few weeks back. My heart utterly broke as it was ripped from my chest. I had not known such pain and betrayal like that before, not even in my relationships in dating. Even when those relationships crashed and burned. Nothing can prepare you for being turned away and belittled from the thing you loved so much in life. From something that I had dedicated so much of my life and time and literally blood, sweat and tears to. To only realise that all my hardship for the past seven plus years was for naught. That truly hurts. A lot. Especially when you have no idea why. No trigger point? No lead up. Just...is.
Now a dark cloud follows me around. My spark is gone. I miss it ever so much. But it was blown out when my heart broke. I feel hollow. A husk. An automaton going through the motions. Because why try when you know it is for naught? When you know your beating heart can still be crushed further at the slightest action (whether known or perceived or unawares). I want to protect the remnants of my broken heart. I am just afraid at what cost that may be.
I am a strong, independent, intelligent, self-assured woman. I am an expert in many things and a jack of all trades in many others. I stand up for what I believe in. What I perceive to be right. And will admit when I make a mistake. Take that chance to learn from the mistake and better myself in the process. But I am afraid. I should "lay low". I should not "make waves". I should "be invisible." Can I do this? Can I give in and go against so much of what I believe in? Can I go against my moral ethical code to make the world a better place? To instill progress so that we do not remain stagnant? To be the very best I can be at what I set my mind to?
I do not want to be a drone. An automaton. I do not want to feel hollow inside and weary and anxious. I want to love again. Feel the passion that I did up till a few weeks ago. But that passion is gone. It is lost. And I mourn it daily. To be kicked aside so brutally. My loving family that I have been so loyal to has turned its back on me. And kicked me while I was already down and bleeding. How shall I get that passion back after being betrayed so horribly? After seeing the true face of my "family"? I have a dilemma and I know I am the only one that can answer it. For now, only time will tell. The wounds are so fresh and ripped anew daily. Can I be an unethical person by my standards, just for a little while? Will "this too shall pass" shit happen? We shall see. We. Shall. See.
