Life- it is ever changing and adapting

In all honesty, I am so very tired of moving.  I have lived in Idaho since October 2009.  Eight years today.  I have moved, let's see, hmmm:

1. Desert
2. Jackson
3. Mercury
4. 29th
5. Tut
6. Arctic
7. Canterbury
9. Carson
10. Candlestick
11. Omphale
12. Irene
13. Juniper
14. Leo
15. Federal
16. Summerridge

There were actually a few times in there that I was homeless.  Mostly in 2017 (and sort of now).  You would think me, a person who has a full time job, education, retirement, pays bills on time, would be able to afford housing for herself on a more permanent basis?  Nope.  The cost of living increases.  My wages do not.  I have procured a sort of second job helping out a friend with her business.  But as winter approaches, business will slow.  And I will be in need of more income, again.

I am not depressed or stressed about the state of things.  They are what they are.  Stressing will not improve my life.  It will make it worse.  So I go with the flow.  I try to find solutions and research options.

I had so many ideas of things I wished to post on here.  But once I start typing, the blog just flows into whatever direction my mind tells my fingers to type to.

I saw the new Blade runner film last week when it came out.  I nearly started to cry while watching it.  Blade runner and Philip K Dick films were some of my father's preferred ones to watch.  I felt going to the film was a tribute to him.  And it is hard to see a film knowing Dad would want to see it, too.  And that we could talk on the phone and discuss our thoughts about the film after both of us had seen it.  This is the longest time I have ever gone without hearing his voice.  10 months.  His photo we presented at the ALS ride goes with me and is put front and center in my new room of residence.  It makes me happy to see it.  I still tear up and cry at times when I think of him.  And I most often think of him in the mornings at work when I am getting ready for work.  That is my contemplative time.  And he takes up much of that mind time.

I have been getting requests to deploy with Team Rubicon to help the disaster clean up from hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Maria in Texas and now Puerto Rico for the past month a half.  This week I finally gave in and said I could go.  I really wanted to go after Harvey to offer either my TR assistance or my professionally trained assistance through the national organisation I am certified through.  But fear of reprimand from work prevented me from doing so.  And now?  You only live once.  If it means I get in trouble for going to help people in need, then so be it.  Work has lost its luster for me.  I still love helping people.  But now with (my perceived) black cloud over my head when I am at work, helping others does not feel like a priority at work for so many and that bothers me.  I want to truly help people who need it.  And with TR, I can do that.  I can put my body to work.  Sleep on floors.  Occasionally shower.  And have people thank me for what I am doing to help them.  That is what I miss from work- feeling appreciated and acknowledged for the hard work, blood, sweat and tears put into it rather than be accused of things I am not.  Work hurts my mind.  Helping others makes it grow and flourish. :-)

I did get to do something at work a few weeks back that reminded me how much I love working and why I do what I do.  And people recognised my abilities to help them and used them and thanked me.  That is all it takes.  Thanking someone for their work.  Not all the time.  But every now and then.  It can go so long to help improve someone's outlook and mood.  I make a concerted effort to be positive and kinder to my coworkers.  Being angry will not accomplish much.

In an effort to try to save money and be more financially responsible, I have gone on less hikes farther away.  I am trying to go to more local athletic locations.  The Jeep loves to eat gas like it is going out of style, unfortunately.  So, this past week I hiked Stack Rock trail (8.7mi round trip) and then scrambled on the rocks almost to the top (I was about 10' shy of it, but my friends continued to the top).  I forgot how rough granite it on hands when you are rock climbing/scrambling.  Quite a bit of exposure (for me) and I definitely had to work on my increasing anxiety levels at times.  I climb because it makes me uncomfortable.  I climb to defeat my discomfort.

 

The week prior I hiked along the Middle Fork of Payette Rd with the lovely Charlie dog.  Since it was some sort of hunting season and Charlie would look wolf-ish to the untrained/uneducated eye, I decided that we would stick to the road to hike.  It was his first hike and I plan to break him in slowly so he can be my outdoor companion.  He crashed hardcore and slept the whole way home.  Love that dog.

I peruse one of my favourite websites, Expedition Portal, occasionally to pine after the adventures that other people go on.  And I add my own on there, too.  I noticed they had an article about female overland adventurers!!  And even better, the women have created a book to publish celebrating females who adventure, especially solo!  Yes!!!  This book/goal totally spoke to me.  So I donated money to them to help them publish the book.  Here is the link for the book I Can. I Will.

A few weeks back, my fellow adventure ladies and I went on a hiking adventure to Sunset Mountain.  We ran into snow along the way (the previous week the higher elevations got some snow) which had apparently persisted all week.  So we parked the trucks, let the dogs out and hiked to the trail head and fire look out.  The dogs had a ball.  So did we.  Even saw wolf track of a solo wolf.  Probably a few days old.  But still exciting to see!  We were up in the clouds.  It was so beautiful.  Cold.  But clear and sharp looking.  I love nature.  It is truly my happy place.  The week prior I hiked part of the William Pogue/Sheep Creek trail off Middle Fork of Boise Rd on the way to Atlanta.  Dreary day.  But still beautiful.